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by BaharKalyoncuYücel on Dec 9, 2023

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Burası aşk, evlilik, ilişkiler ve bağlanma modellerini konuşacağımız, dertleşeceğimiz, çözümler üreteceğimiz yer. Tek taraflı bakmanın bizi sonuca götürmediğini bilerek, empatinin, şefkatin, şehvetin, onurlandırmanın olduğu ilişkileri nasıl inşa edebiliriz,işte tam olarak bu soruya cevaplar üreteceğiz. İdeal ilişki yoktur, ideal ilişkinin yaratımı vardır. Yaratımımız kutlu olsun cânım kadın. Hadi gel, beraber yolda gönlümüzü açalım, büyütelim, serpilelim. İlişki tohumlarımız göğe ulaşsın ! 🌴

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Kadın kocasından beslenmediğinde, çocuğuna yapışır. Şöyle çarpıcı bir cümleyle başladıktan sonra evlilikte dengeler ile ilgili konuşmak istiyorum cânım kadınlar. Bir bebek dünyaya geldiğinde ilk 6 ay dünyası, meme ve kendisinden ibarettir. Hatta meme ile kendisini ayırt edemez dahi, memeyi kendisinin bir uzantısı olarak algılar. İlk 1 yıllık süreçte ise en çok ilişki kurmak istediği kişi, annedir. Annenin gözlerinden dünyayı algılar, duygularını düzenlemeyi anneden öğrenir yani anneye tamamen bağımlıdır. Fakat bu ilişki bebek büyüdükçe değişmelidir. Bebek güvenli bir şekilde anneden ayrışmalıdır. Ayrışırken de suçluluk duymamalı, bireyselliğinden zevk almalıdır. Baba ise bu anne-bebek-baba üçgeninde anneyi sakinleştirmesi, bebek ile anne yorulduğunda rahatlatıcı misyon yüklenmesi ile denkleme girer. Babanın esas görevi annenin ihtiyaçlarını karşılamaktır. Anne kendi ihtiyaçları karşılandığında, bebeğine, bebeğin ihtiyaç duyduğu ayrışmayı sağlayabilir. Aksi takdirde babadan yeterli desteği , takdiri, aynalanmayı göremediğinde, bebeğinden ayrışmakta güçlük çeker. Hatta babadan almadığı ilgili sevgiyi bağlılığı bebekten almaya çalışır. Bu bebek için karşılanması mümkün olmayan bir yüktür fakat ebeveyni mutlu olsun diye bebek elinden geleni yapar. Bebekler ve çocuklar sınır çizmeyi bilmezler, dolayısıyla küçücük yaşında annesi mutlu olsun diye kendini feda eden, kendi özgürlüğünden vazgeçen bireyler olurlar. Fakat olmamalılar. Annelerin ve babaların bu konuda çok dikkatli olmaları önemlidir. Bu tarz bir aile dinamiği ileride birçok soruna yol açabilir. #aile #bebek #anne #baba #çocuk #ailebağları #bağımlıkişilik #güvenlibağlanma #psikoloji #gelişimpsikolojisi #aynanöron #destek #ebeveynolmak

Kadın kocasından beslenmediğinde, çocuğuna yapışır.

Şöyle çarpıcı bir cümleyle başladıktan sonra evlilikte dengeler ile ilgili konuşmak istiyorum cânım kadınlar.

Bir bebek dünyaya geldiğinde ilk 6 ay dünyası, meme ve kendisinden ibarettir. Hatta meme ile kendisini ayırt edemez dahi, memeyi kendisinin bir uzantısı olarak algılar. İlk 1 yıllık süreçte ise en çok ilişki kurmak istediği kişi, annedir. Annenin gözlerinden dünyayı algılar, duygularını düzenlemeyi anneden öğrenir yani anneye tamamen bağımlıdır. Fakat bu ilişki bebek büyüdükçe değişmelidir. Bebek güvenli bir şekilde anneden ayrışmalıdır. Ayrışırken de suçluluk duymamalı, bireyselliğinden zevk almalıdır.

Baba ise bu anne-bebek-baba üçgeninde anneyi sakinleştirmesi, bebek ile anne yorulduğunda rahatlatıcı misyon yüklenmesi ile denkleme girer. Babanın esas görevi annenin ihtiyaçlarını karşılamaktır. Anne kendi ihtiyaçları karşılandığında, bebeğine, bebeğin ihtiyaç duyduğu ayrışmayı sağlayabilir. Aksi takdirde babadan yeterli desteği , takdiri, aynalanmayı göremediğinde, bebeğinden ayrışmakta güçlük çeker. Hatta babadan almadığı ilgili sevgiyi bağlılığı bebekten almaya çalışır. Bu bebek için karşılanması mümkün olmayan bir yüktür fakat ebeveyni mutlu olsun diye bebek elinden geleni yapar. Bebekler ve çocuklar sınır çizmeyi bilmezler, dolayısıyla küçücük yaşında annesi mutlu olsun diye kendini feda eden, kendi özgürlüğünden vazgeçen bireyler olurlar. Fakat olmamalılar. Annelerin ve babaların bu konuda çok dikkatli olmaları önemlidir. Bu tarz bir aile dinamiği ileride birçok soruna yol açabilir.

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sevdadiker

commented 361 days ago

Off son paragraf etkileyici Bebeğe sevgi misyonu yükleme

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