I had been dealing with narcissistic spouse since 20 years. This was decoded by a psychiatrist a few years back. Because of children and been unable to explain my situation to anyone or was not possible to move away from him. Now the effect of the abuse is seen on my children. They are partially aware and partially in denial mode to understand the same. Hope should I deal with the situation?

Marriage

by suspicious_123 on Nov 20, 2023

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Amanvir Kaur asked 378 days ago

I had been dealing with narcissistic spouse since 20 years. This was decoded by a psychiatrist a few years back. Because of children and been unable to explain my situation to anyone or was not possible to move away from him. Now the effect of the abuse is seen on my children. They are partially aware and partially in denial mode to understand the same. Hope should I deal with the situation?

Answer

352d

Anonymous

・answered 352 days ago

Dealing with a narcissistic spouse for two decades is undoubtedly challenging. It's commendable that you've sought professional help and are concerned about your children's well-being. It might be helpful to seek support from a therapist who specializes in family dynamics and can help your children navigate their feelings. Additionally, focusing on self-care and setting boundaries with your spouse can be crucial for your own mental health.

Comment

352d

intimacycoachsampadafotedar

・answered 352 days ago

Your situation is totally understandable. It’s good that you had sought psychiatric help in the past. I can imagine how children must be a binding factor in the relationship. It’s very common. I feel seeking therapy will be helpful and setting some boundaries with your spouse is also crucial. Spend more time with your children and make sure you explore your own values as well!

Comment

347d

Anonymous

・answered 347 days ago

You should be talking to your children more often about their feelings and slowly pull them out of this denial mode and make them see the reality

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346d

Anonymous

・answered 346 days ago

u should leave him probably

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I am in a relationship and after some days it will be 3 years of our relationship but he gets very angry and in anger he abuses me and also blackmails me, although he does not do anything but once he did blackmail me and I want him to stop doing all this, in between he even started raising his hand, will he be able to fix all this or should I get out of this relationship?

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Popular opinion

Hey guys. I've always been in a toxic household and wanted to leave just as soon as I can. I couldn't go out for my studies as they didn't allow me but now when I'm in a stable and loving relationship I'm thinking of getting into a live in. Now the thing is my parents aren't allowing it and my boyfriend is pestering me. What do I do now.???

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-9d

aabha_rawattt・-20d

Why is your boyfriend pestering you for it? You should first consider everything and then go for it. And try to persuade your parents more(ik its hard with strict parents,can totally relate)

Psychologist_BhumikaSehra・-20d

Hey there, Getting pressured by both sides can certainly be uncomfortable and challenging to deal with, but it's also your decision about your life so try to analyse the pros and cons of either step you wish you take and understand what might be good for you. It can certainly be uncomfortable to get out of your comfort zone, but if it benefits you in the future, then it might even be worth it :)

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What does one do if the husband cheats on you

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Anonymous・2d

You should leave him. File a divorce.

Anonymous・-25d

you should just walk away and get to live your life on your own terms.

Top discussion

My husband has cheated on me. I have also forgiven. He stayed there for a few months now. But now again he avoids me. He is not interested in having sex with me. Neither does it give me any financial or emotional sleep. I don't understand what to do. He told me once that he was not interested in me. Abhi says yes but as always only with excuses. But she had feelings for having an affair. What should I do? But if I leave, if I leave you, I have a child.. I have a daughter.

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sandy1290

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Anonymous・1d

hy sandy1290 though i dont have right to speak in your personal matter but i still want to say it that if their is no love ,no affection no respect an you knows it well just because of your daughter how much you will suffer .this is yoyr life if he can live his life by hurting you than why you cant live with your daughter alone. please think about your self take a hard step it will give little pain to u but in future you can breath happily stay happy an can live better with your daughter.

Psychologist_SriradhaPodder・-23d

Hi.. hope you are well! I can understand the kind of pain and mental conflict you are going through. Before taking any decision you need to make yourself feel mentally and emotionally strong. If you are able to have a peace of mind then you can think carefully and support your daughter. Being financially independent is also a key. Please focus on these areas. Post this you will see that you are able to make better life choices.

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My husband cheated on me. I have 2 options 1. Threaten him and get him to stay 2. Leave him coz he has found his love. Pls advise

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Leave him for your wellbeing. because if he found his love then he will not be able to love you.

Anonymous・-24d

If you feel comfortable, have an open and honest conversation with your husband about what happened and how you feel. Communication can sometimes lead to understanding and healing.

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My cuzn got divorced 3 months back. His wife was emotionally abusive and manipulative. Somehow she isolated him from everybody including family. The internet talks so much about narcissistic men but let me tell you, women too can have narcissistic personality disorder. Now I want to know, How is the life of a divorced man in India?@RC_Mayanka

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It can come as a surprise but not all men are living happily and not all women are in misery. They both have their problems and struggles. It's just about the pov

RelationshipCoach_DrGujral・-13d

It is true that both men and women can be narcissist, but yes it is talked about most in men. as for life of a divorced man, things might be little tough when he wishes to get married again, as people will find it hard to believe that he was abused. other than that most things should be ok for him.

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Why does divorce/separation affect some women’s self-esteem and confidence? @RC_Mayanka

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Ofcourse maximum women has some expectations from the relationship, women might build up their future with that person. By separation or divorce, women couldn't see the future and their dreams suddenly.. it must be empty when the person goes off from the life. Coz of that emptiness women effects psychological disturbance. In that situation they feel lack of confidence or self esteem. How long it's continue will be depends on the person.

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Marriage is not just a bond between two bodies....they get attached emotionally and mentally. Its is really difficult for a person to detach from someone you loved so much. When you are trying to give your 100 percent and your partner does not care about it. Then a women's self esteem and confidence shakes.

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my neighbours daughter got caught in a live in relationship and her mother has been crying like someone died... is it wrong to be in a live in?

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intimacycoachsampadafotedar・1d

There is nothing wrong with being in a live in. It all depends on personal values, culture, society you live in and tradition

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There’s no right or wrong to this , it’s at the end about one’s personal values which play a significant stance in this . As morality is deeply personal and varies among individuals.

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I have been in live-in for few months now and we are engaged also. Now I feel he is not the one for me since he is very dominating. I can't live my life on anyone else terms. I want to move out but the problem is we are engaged also and my family won't support me. please tell me How to end an engagement when you live together?

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Hey! Hope you are doing well. I understand that the situation must be tough for you :/. But I also feel that it’s better to come out of it now because it’s still not too late. Have an assertive communication with your family and partner. Yes, the process will be tough to go through but the end goal will be worth it! -Sampada, Psychotherapist and Intimacy coach

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Hey there. I understand it is difficult to take complex and life altering decisions but if it's for your comfort and well being of your future it can be a hard pill to swallow but it can also be beneficial to you in your future. it requires a difficult conversation but with effective communication Strategies and assertiveness you can stand your ground and help yourself get out of a potentially toxic relationship.

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In a toxic relationship for years. My boyfriend constantly puts me down and controls who I see. How do I find the strength to leave?

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Hi. Hope you are doing well. I can understand what you are doing through :( As a therapist, I must tell you that this situation is something of a trauma bond. He constantly brings you down and you must be doing everything you can to go back to the same “initial honeymoon period”, right? Even if it involves going things you don’t want to but he wants to. I feel that in this situation, be assertive. Communicate your thoughts and feelings in a calm yet firm tone. No matter what he says, Stand your ground. If you respond differently and not like usual, he also won’t get the space to react like he usually does. If nothing changes, then sit with yourself and decide the course of this relationship. Relationships aren’t supposed to be so complicated, think and ask yourself: is this attachment worth fighting for? Take care and all the best 🩵

psychologist_sonali・-19d

I can understand that even though we know we should leave, it's hard to make a decision. Make sure you build a support system for yourself; it's okay to ask for help in such situations, and believe in yourself that yes, you can do this

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