by Michelle Frank on Sep 15, 2022
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#AskDocM What does #consent mean to you? Does it only apply for physical intimacy or in other aspects of your relationship as well? A 22-year-old woman asked her partner to wear a condom before penetrative sex, and he refused, saying he didn't like how it felt. At that moment put off she refused to continue. A second time this happened her partner threatened to leave her if this continues. She is concerned, wanting to please her boyfriend but also doesn't want to have unprotected sex. What should she do?
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251d
・answered 251 days ago
Hey! she’s 22. that surely gives her some advantage over choosing the people she wants to keep in her life, as opposed to someone older with greater obligations (atleast that’s how it is with me, being in that ballpark). Sex is just as important as emotional compatibility in a relationship, if her boyfriend is unable to respect her boundaries, maybe it is time for her to reconsider the relationship itself. it’s hard, i completely get wanting to satisfy your partner but if it’s not a two way street, is it really worth it? Use your advantage of being young, it’s not the end of the world. There is a very great chance you’ll probably find someone who respects you and your choices (in and outside of the bedroom). it’s 2024 and unfortunately, “it doesn’t feel as good” is just not a good enough excuse anymore.
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251d
・answered 251 days ago
Leave the boyfriend or explain the boyfriend if he can understand… the best part is she has the courage to stand for what she believes and communicate I feel she needs to stand her ground and so strong cz the consequences will be hers that boy may escape …. Besides what kind of relationship is this where her opinion is not respected any way that boy is not worth it
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251d
・answered 251 days ago
Hi Doc Frank, I hope you are well. Firstly, she should sit her boyfriend down and talk to him about the situation, her apprehensions, inhibitions very clearly. She needs to convey that if he continues to do the same thing over and over again, she'll have to call this off. If the boyfriend agrees to everything she is saying....then, great! If he says that he won't do as she says or doesn't wish to wear a condom....then, she can wish him goodluck, and goodbye, both at the same time :) Also, she's quite young...so she needn't stick around someone who wants to control her life, and doesn't wish to listen to his partner. She's better off without a boyfriend in that case.
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251d
・answered 251 days ago
Consent related to any sexual activity which your planning to do must be decided atleast 4-5 hours before you actually do it. It can't be done where you're just about to do it and end up in an argument .
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